1 Month

My sweet little Camden is ONE month old! I can hardly believe it!! What a month this has been. I don't even have words to describe it, partly because the first month of motherhood is like nothing I've ever experienced before and partly because I'm very sleep deprived, haha. I'm going to continue using this blog to document Camden's milestones and just share about our new life as a family of three. So, what has happened this month?! Let's take a look :]

Camden's first month milestones-

• Camden had his first pediatrician appointment on March 21st. I was excited to find out that my old pediatrician would accept Camden as a new patient even though he was technically accepting new patients at the time. Even though he was on vacation for the first two weeks, I was happy to know that Camden would have a good pediatrician. At this first appointment our little man weighed in at 7lbs 1oz. When he was discharged from the hospital three days prior he weighed 6lbs 6oz- quite the weight gain! They also told us his length at this visit- I think it was 20 inches but I'm not entirely sure.
• Camden went through "cluster feeding" for awhile after birth. I put the term in quotes because that's what the doctors called his nursing schedule; but I assumed it was his natural demand/appetite because it lasted awhile. He nursed every 1-1.5 hours for most of his first month. Just recently did he start going longer between feedings. 
• Camden had his second pediatrician visit on March 28th, where he weighed in at 7lbs 15oz! Another 14oz gained in just one week!
• We brought Camden to church for the first time on Easter Sunday, March 31st. He was an angel through the whole service- he slept on my chest and didn't make a peep until the closing prayer. I also made Camden his first Easter basket this year! And we took our first nice family picture (nice in that we weren't in the hospital or looking like a mess, haha). 
• Camden's umbilical cord stump fell off sometime around March 26th-27th. I don't remember exactly because it was the middle of the night and I was rather confused at first when I found the little stump piece on my glider, haha. Needless to say, he got his first real bath shortly after that happened.
• Jacob fed Camden his first bottle on April 5th (not formula- pumped breast milk).
• Camden started with nightly fussy fits at three weeks. He gets fussy and cries inconsolably sometime between 1-5am. Sometimes it lasts just half an hour, other times it's hours on end. We're still dealing with this the best we can and figuring out how to console him. 
• Camden had his one month check up on April 16th. He finally met his pediatrician and was a champ through the whole appointment. He weighed in at 9lbs 15oz and measured 21 3/4 inches! That means he gained 2 pounds in as many weeks and grew by 2 inches since birth. This little guy is growing and changing so fast!! 

It's so crazy to look at Camden and see how different he is from when he was born! He's gotten so much bigger, he has a baby face instead of a newborn face, most of his hair has fallen out (that actually makes me really sad! I loved his fuzzy little baby hairs!). The itty bitty newborn that I brought home from the hospital has changed into this adorable little baby. Right before my eyes! I swear I fall in love with him a little more everyday. I could just stare at him and hold him all day. All. Day. It's so fun to watch him learn new things, like holding his head up. His neck is getting so strong! He gets held all the time around here, between me, Jacob, my parents, and my brothers, someone is almost always holding Camden (which he loves! This boy loves being held). And lots of times he gets held chest-to-chest. Now that his neck is stronger he'll pull his head back and look at our faces, then bonk his head right back down. We all joke that Camden likes to headbutt us, haha. It's so cute though.

This month has truly been amazing and life-changing. Not only was Camden born but so was my identity as a mother. And I'll tell you what, motherhood has already taught me so much. It has been extremely difficult at times but it is incredibly fulfilling and worthwhile! Here are some of the things I've learned this month-

• You can never have enough arms and hands. Seriously though. I wish I was like octo-mom or something. I'm sure this desire for more arms/hands will only grow stronger as Camden grows older, too. Two hands just doesn't seem like enough these days. Which brings me to my next lesson...
• Baby carriers/wraps/slings are wonderful. I have just recently discovered the joys of the Moby Wrap. Camden didn't like it the first time we tried it but he was a fan the second time. After I got him situated and he was nice and content my mom asked me what I was going to do now and I proudly declared that I was going to make myself a sandwich (side note- so happy to be able to eat lunchmeat again! I sure did miss ham and turkey sandwiches!). I think my Moby Wrap will be my new best friend and will allow me to at least have my two hands free to get some things done (though I could still use more hands). 
• When Camden is hungry I will do whatever it takes to feed him. Even if this means pulling over into a Dunkin Donuts parking lot and climbing in the backseat. Or standing in a restroom. That hungry cry just does something to me and I have to feed him. Right away. 
• When Camden is fussy and I'm trying everything I can think of to calm him down he will inevitably enjoy the movement that is the most tiring and difficult to do repetitively the most. Being raised slowly overhead and then returned slowly to my lap? Favorite. I'll chalk it up as part of my upper body workout for the day, I guess. My poor arms. Yet another example of how multiple arms/hands would be useful.
• When a meal is actually cooked and I finally sit down to eat, Camden will suddenly be ready to eat too. He has a sixth sense for my mealtimes. It's like he's going "hey, you're eating, I want to eat too!" Stinker. Also on that note, cereal is a totally acceptable dinner. Sometimes that's all we have energy for and that's okay. 
• Sleep isn't the most important thing. Even though it's really rough to be so tired and sleep deprived, Camden is worth every minute of lost sleep. I cherish the middle of the night snuggles when he falls asleep on my chest after nursing. It's so special! I try to remind myself that this phase will be over before I know it and I'll miss these days. I'll enjoy getting more sleep in the future but right now tending to my little man is most important and I'm happy to nurture him the best I can. 
• A mother's love is amazing. It is intense, ferocious even. Words cannot describe the depth of love I have for this baby. He has quickly become the center of my world and I wouldn't have it any other way! Camden makes me want to be the best person, the best mother, possible. I see hope and the brightest future in his eyes. He inspires me to do my best everyday in every facet of my life. He also reminds me of the unfathomable love of my Heavenly Father. It's impossible to comprehend the fact that God loves me more than I love my baby. Or even that He loves Camden more than I do! His love is truly amazing and I'm so thankful that I am reminded of it everyday when I look at Camden. 

There are probably other things I want to document and remember from this first month but I can't think of them right now. So I might add to this post later but for now I'll leave you with some adorable pictures of my little man :] 

Postpartum Reflections - The Early Days

Well, here we are- more than two weeks after Camden's grand entrance. These two weeks have seriously been a whirlwind! My days and nights have all blurred together into one exhausting but intensely gratifying experience. It's crazy how much my world has changed since Camden was born! Everything revolves around taking care of him now. It's challenging and I'm definitely still learning, but it's so incredible at the same time. I love being a Mom! I love Camden more than I ever knew possible. I just wanted to take a blog post to jot down some thoughts/experiences and share a little bit of our postpartum journey so far :]

March 16th. Camden Jacob- day one of life. We got moved from our delivery room to our recovery room sometime around 3am (Camden was born at 1:18am). We opted to have Camden room-in with us the whole time we stayed in the hospital. This first night (err, morning?) was pretty easy. Little man was in his recuperating-from-the-stress-of-birth state for the first day of his life. Basically, he slept a lot. He has been a good eater since his first nursing session during our skin-to-skin time right after he was born and he continued to nurse well that first day. Other than nursing, he slept. I was feeling pretty good this day- not really much pain. Every nurse offered me 600mg of Motrin but I turned them all down because my pain wasn't bad enough to want something. After going through the whole birth without any pain relief, the afterpains were nothing. It just felt like bad period cramps. My mom came to visit us in the hospital this day, which was great! She spent most of the day with us and even went and got us Subway (yay for finally being able to eat lunch meat again!). Jacob and I soaked up every minute of holding our sweet baby boy!

March 17th- day two (St. Patrick's Day!). Camden's first actual night with us (Saturday into Sunday the 17th) was rough. At this point Camden finally realized that he was born and he wasn't too happy about it, haha. We were up late to begin with- we went to the nursery with Camden for his vitals check around 1am then Jake went to Dunkin Donuts to get us something to eat (side note- it sucked that the hospital stopped serving food after 6pm!). Once we got back from the nursery, ate our food, and all went to bed, Camden got really fussy. I'd nurse him, swaddle him, get him to sleep and put him in his bassinet only to have him start screaming again almost instantaneously. He just was NOT happy. He kept rooting and showing other signs of hunger so I kept nursing him. But as soon as he'd finish and fall asleep, I'd move him to his bassinet and he would wake up again and we'd start all over. It was overwhelming and frustrating and enough to make me feel like a failure. That was a rough night. I was up with him until about 5am just trying to get him to sleep a little. Our nurse offered to take him to the nursery so I could sleep but I didn't feel right about sending him (and I really didn't want him given a bottle with formula and was worried that would happen if they took him). We did end up trying to give him a pacifier at one point but he wouldn't take it. Around 5am the phlebotomist came to draw my blood (I needed to be checked for anemia since I lost a lot of blood after labor and for whatever it is that determines how much rhogam I needed since I'm O- and Camden turned out O+). I handed Camden off to Jake while I got my blood drawn then tried to get a little bit of sleep. Jake decided to have Camden taken to the nursery so that I could sleep. He had gotten some sleep throughout the night but he knew I was exhausted and thought sending Camden to the nursery would be best. I think Jake even went and watched him most of the time he was in there. I got woken back up around 7am when the nurses changed shift. This new nurse was super nice (not that any of the nurses were mean- this one was just awesome, haha) and she made me feel a little better about our rough night and sending Camden to the nursery. I took her up on the offer for Motrin because my body was so thoroughly exhausted at this point that I needed something to help me out. I also got to meet with a lactation consultant this day, which was great. She was awesome, too, and explained that cluster feeding (what Camden was doing that night) is totally normal and expectable at that point. I wish someone had told me that sooner! I spent awhile talking to her about all things nursing related. Lucky for me, Camden is a natural so his latch hasn't really been an issue. But it was still nice to have the LC there to watch and help us out a bit. My parents and brothers also came to visit that afternoon! It was nice to see all of them. We watched the Bruins game together and my parents brought us some much needed food. Yes, Yaki Soba was included in that food ;] haha. Not too long after they left my aunt and memere showed up to visit. They both got to hold Camden while I shared my birth experience with them. After they left, two of my best friends came by to meet my little man! They hung out for awhile and provided some much needed laughs and entertainment. It made me so happy to have some visitors this day! And that's pretty much it for the highlights... This night with Camden was much better- he slept more and so did I. 

March 18th- day three. Going home day! I started the day off with another 5am blood draw since someone forgot to chart that I needed an extra vial drawn for the rH negative thing. I was NOT too happy about that! I hate blood draws so having to get them done two mornings in a row sucked. I still have a huge bruise from it! But after that was over we started the whole process of getting discharged. This ended up being a bit of a headache for us because they don't usually discharge babies without them having a pediatrician and a 48hr follow-up visit scheduled. Well, we didn't have either of those because we didn't have Camden enrolled in DEERS or put on Jake's insurance yet. We must've explained the whole thing at least a dozen times to various nurses and doctors but they made us meet with the head pediatrician to explain it to him. But once that was all cleared up and I got my rhogam shot, we were set to go home! Camden did not like being strapped into his carseat for the first time. He screamed. A lot. Then he calmed right down once we started moving him. It was nice to get out of the hospital but a little unnerving at the same time. My mom had valet parked our car and they valet guys were nice enough to not charge us! I was happy about that. Yay free parking! We made a couple stops on the way home- one for a brick oven pizza and another to am Army base to ask if we could enroll Camden in DEERS there (no such luck). Then it was home to eat and snuggle and spend a lot of quality time together as a little family. Our first night home was, oh how should I put it... awful. Camden was back to cluster feeding and wanting to eat every 40ish minutes. I was totally drained, running a fever of 100.4 and fighting the chills. No fun. I don't know why but I felt like death this night. It was bad. But we got through it and we haven't had a night that bad since (knock on wood)! 

After that first night home things all start blurring together. We got a snowstorm on Tuesday (19th) so we all relaxed and napped a lot trying to recuperate from the rough night (Jake had a fever too, oddly enough). We went out to Westover Air Reserve Base on Wednesday (20th) to get all the DEERS/Tricare stuff sorted out. That was actually a really good outing! We had lunch at Panera and grabbed Starbucks while we were out and Camden was great the whole time. Thursday (21st) we had Camden's first pediatrician visit! Oh, cool side note- Camden has the same pediatrician that I had my entire childhood! I was told that he wasn't accepting new patients but when I said that he was my pedi they told me he always takes new 2nd generation patients so he would accept Camden! We found out that Camden had gained a whopping 11oz in 3 days! He was 6lbs 6oz when we were discharged from the hospital on Monday and was up to 7lb 1oz on Thursday! Told ya he was nursing A LOT, haha. 

That basically sums it up for the first few days postpartum. Like I said, it's been challenging and exhausting but so totally amazing at the same time! It's crazy how much Camden has changed already! He's such a sweet and content baby. He rarely cries, he loves being held. There's so much more I could say about him but I'll save that for another post :] I really think that my birthing experience and really how I approached my whole pregnancy did a lot to help Camden be a happy baby. I tried my best to stay active and healthy throughout my pregnancy and that in turn helped me have a good labor (at least that's what I believe). Camden's birth was, overall, very peaceful. The atmosphere in my room was quiet and calm- I didn't yell or anything like that at all. I had great support from Jacob, Stefanie, my parents (who were there while I labored but not while I pushed), and my labor nurse. I worked through my contractions quietly while relying on my support people. It was good. Jake had the Muppets on his laptop during my earlier labor and switched it over to some acoustic music once my labor got really intense. I was very happy with the atmosphere in my room during my labor. I think it really matched my disposition. And I think Camden inherited that laid-back disposition as well. I don't care if that sounds silly or like a coincidence. I truly believe that everything I did throughout my pregnancy and labor had an impact on Camden, even in something like his general disposition.

Okay okay. I'm exhausted and could ramble on and on forever. But I'm going to stop here. Sorry if this post is a little hard to follow! I'm going to try to blog a little more over the next few weeks to share more of my experiences with my little man and document some of his firsts. Oh and the blog will be getting a makeover as soon as I can find the time for it. But for now, it's off to bed for me and Camden!